So the past two weeks I have been sitting in a psychiatric clinic in Johannesburg called Glenview Clinic, because on the 22nd of May 2019, I could no longer handle the pain that was burning inside of me. No longer could I hide my feelings and wear the masks I needed for people to think I was happy when I was not. My emotions were not aligning with what was supposed to be portrayed to others.
I lost control, no longer could I keep this sharade up any longer, so I decided to take a handfull of pills to try and place myself in a coma for at least 10 days just so I could cope. I was stupid, I was niave because how could I have a mental issue; it’s just in my brain isn’t it, I can conquer this on myself can’t I?
How wrong was I to let my husband who has loved me for 13 years find his loved one lying limp and drugged on the bed.
He had come home after worrying because numerous people couldn’t get hold of me and nor could he, so he rushed home and found me in such a vulnerable place. I was exposed, my cover blown, this strong person I have always tried to portray was now lying like sloppy jello on the bed.
After rushing me to our GP, he had me immediately booked into a psychiatric clinic. I felt ashamed, I felt like a failure, I felt worthless! How did I land up here? We don’t discuss mental issues in my family……. No…. No… We don’t talk about these things because its shows weekness!
This is what we have all grown up too, and how wrong are we. Mental illness is just as real as cancer but we can’t conceptualise this because there has always been this Stigma around it. So stick around and follow my blog because I am about to show you all that it’s time to understand what really goes on, and that this disease is just as real as cancer or diabetes.
#breakthementalstigma
#mentalilnessawareness
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