Boundaries

Do we all have the right boundaries? I have asked this question to myself this past week non stop? Clearly I don’t because I have allowed people to walk all over me while suffering with a mental disorder I didn’t even know I had!

Now wonder I landed up in a psychiatric clinic in Benoni. I am going to have to be brave and once I know how to control the confusion in my brain, and the mixed emotions that seem to jump from pillar to post; I am going to have to confront my fears and lay my own boundaries with my family and friends.

And you know why I need to do this……. Because I matter too. I have feelings and needs that I need to attend to as well, because my worth is important to this planet.

No longer will I fall into the cycle of the Rescuer (The one that can’t say No, or stuck in the middle trying to keep everyone happy) , the Victim (The on feeling Hopeless, Alone or the Failure) or the Persecutor (pushing people away, sarcastic, or suicidal) no more. No more guilt trips for me, because I feel I need to sacrifice my happiness or pleasures in life for others.

If I learnt one thing from the program today; it is from now on I need to ask myself 2 questions when being confronted with a “cycle” moving forward:

1 – Whose problem is it?

2 – Who is doing more work on it?

And how do we stand our ground and set boundaries, with the + – + (positive/negative/positive) technique. A simple technique taught to us by Sam a fantastic and lively psychologist.

+ we acknowledge the person wants

– say No

+ offer an alternative (because it manages to alleviate our guilt)

So yeah, I am putting my size 10’s down and moving forward. I will fight this disease and create my boundaries because we all have value and it’s about time that we acknowledge that.

#breakthestigma

#thisshouldbetaughtatshools