Undeniable Connections

I know I have mentioned the three musketeers in the past, but there was so many more to our family. I am missing the little support group we had created. We have all been on a journey together, that no one will ever understand.

The connections we made was undeniably incredible. We saw each other at our most vulnerable states, and at our peaks of utter happiness. We were there for each other without even having to say one word to one another.

I know I keep mentioning this bubble family , but I don’t think people can grasp what connections are made. I honestly feel like I have a piece of my heart missing because, this family bond that was formed in a safety cocoon has been ripped off like a bandaid.

Friends, family and doctors have advised me not to make friends with fellow ‘inmates’ but that is easier said than done, we have walked on coals, splinters, thorns and nails together on a journey of self discovery, and understanding what was wrong with ourselves and eachother.

We have all been drugged up together (legally of course – it is a psychiatric hospital after all), so the laughters and tears were real and unfiltered (hence the video clip in the beginning, I doubt any of us were of right mind at that stage).

It feels like an umbilical cord has been snipped between us, but you know what….. Even though I may feel sad now. Tomorrow or later this week my bipolar mood disorder will shift my mood and I will then feel happy again that my friends are out there battling their own journeys, holding up their heads, fighting their demons and finding their inner peace.

It’s funny how paths are crossed in life, some people tip toe in and out, others leave foot prints that take ages to dissolve.

To my friends from the Acacia ward, you are all in my mind and I often think about how each one of you are doing. My ‘adopted daughter’ (Tenika) rings me often and I am happy to hear and report she has been released today.

Tenika and Caitlyn (both adopted daughters but special souls) I hope both spread your wings and fly my girls, because you both have amazing souls and you don’t need to hide behind that selfish teenage mask that pushes people away (especially your family). I have seen your hearts and boy can it shine and blind people, so go out there burn them with your blaze of glory.

There is so many people in the Acacia ward that have touched my heart, like Charne and her precious daughter Gabby that gave me hugs when she came to visit her mom. Olive that was always there sitting by us and offering advise or even just an ear to listen too. Yolandi that always told me to smile and that she loves me. To Flip who was my roommate for a while and would randomly come and hug me and tell me how special I am.

You all kept telling me that I am an inspiration, when you all were inspiring me and lifting my spirits with your amazing souls.

So this blog is dedicated to all of you, and I thank you form the bottom of my heart for everything you did to help me understand my illness and the support you offered.

(Juan, Naledi, Charne, Olive, Yolandi, Flip, Prince, Tenika, Caitlyn, Jason, Dave, Wendy and the rest of the gang – Thanks you)